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Little Angry Man in my Head

This is a continuation of the thoughts I had in my previous post on writing.

The little angry man in my head sat slumped over in his armchair. He looked asleep. I had to check if it was something more serious. The cigar had been out for a while. I neglected him for a year now – it’s possible he died of boredom. Or possibly from a lack of exercise. You have to walk your inner voice from time to time and I’ve been neglecting mine.

I called to him. No response. He looked more fragile than usual.

I shook him, but only a little, just enough to wake up the inner voice. No response.

I checked for a pulse. It was there, but barely. There’s still hope, I thought.

To keep him alive I started CPR, or as the other part of my brain calls it, „creating prose regularly“ with this short story being an example. Is it any good? I don’t know, this is a stop-gap measure, necessary to get things going. What he really needs is to be awake in moments of inspiration.

You can’t just take the first step and stop. You have to keep on walking, you have to be ready for the times along your journey when your mind runs wild.

Okay, he seems to be moving now, I think he is reaching for the cigar. Good, good.

Note to self: whatever you do, don’t let the little angry man die of boredom.

On Writing

“Talking and eloquence are not the same: to speak, and to speak well, are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.”

Ben Jonson, Timber p.59

I figured I should start writing. It’s not easy. Generally, when people say they write, they mean they write a lot. Till now I have a few short stories under my belt, a few pieces that could make up longer stories and a vagabond army of reddit comments. I guess this was all practice. Now I will start actually writing.

But will I actually start writing? It’s a lot of work and there are a lot of lessons to take in. I already know that I have to be careful in what words I choose and where I put them. I also heard that it is important to write clearly.

Writing should also help me think more clearly. And when I think about writing, probably writing about what I am thinking will help me think. I noticed that when I think about something, I get into a loop of thoughts. Perhaps writing can help turn those loops into bullet points for use when I talk.

And if watching interviews of my favorite authors collectively taught me anything, it’s that experts express their views after they write them down. Without that, they are just talking heads, not actually speaking their mind. Perhaps we shouldn’t listen to anyone on TV that hasn’t written about it first. It’s audible if someone wrote about a topic because they speak more clearly.

I always try to write as if I am talking just for that reason. I am trying to communicate my thoughts clearly. It also helps me to have an inner voice narrate as I go. The inner me pauses with every period, with every comma, as well as with every backspace tap-tap-tap when my train of thought derails. He ponders my last move, takes a sip of whiskey, or perhaps puffs a cigar, and narrates along, in a voice more eloquent than my own.

In my mind he is in an armchair, facing away from me, in front of a fireplace of course (I allow my mind for a little bit of personal cliché). When I stop, he stops narrating, leans to one side, and impatiently states, “Well, what are you waiting for? It won’t write itself.”

So, I write. It’s not easy so far because my track record has been sporadic, at best. I don’t want to disappoint this time though. I’ll try to avoid clichés, or maybe limit myself to a couple per post (because I find them funny). And I know, I know, this is a lousy start to my writing marathon because it’s only 346 words long. But hey, as they say, it’s an important first step. And each journey begins with a single step.